A clearly bemused Roberto Mancini today asked journalists if they had not found his Wayne Rooney impression “very funny, no”?
Mancini, in trouble with said baying-horde of football writers for lifting an imaginary red card for the umpteenth match in a row, was distraught to find his comedy stylings had not come across well on camera. “I will not get the gig at Jongluers now”, added Mancini after his subsequent Luis Suarez impersonation led to wild accusations of racism.
Mancini, now convinced that the English press simply did not understand his satirical hilarity, unfurled a curtain to reveal a gigantic tablet computer. This incited even more-so the mass of journalists, seeing it as further evidence of City’s wasteful spending. Whilst the journalists were now being clearly briefed by the club’s PR people that the manager was attempting to impersonate an oft televised figure, the addition of a comedy mustache did not have the desired effect, with shouts emanating from the floor that Mancini was acting in a manner that was incredibly disrespectful to victims of Stalin’s gulags and purges.
It was at this point that Mancini was ushered out of the room, falling back on the classics and performing Cleese’s ‘Ministry of Funny Walks’ as the journalists denounced the Italian manager as a Nazi. David Platt, having replaced Mancini behind the collection of microphones, implied that he had warned Mancini that of his set, his Wayne Rooney impression was the least identifiable.
“After all”, said Platt, “no one in their right mind could believe that Mr. Rooney could speak English as well as Roberto does.”