Tag Archives: Cisse

On This Day: 22nd August 2012

HUGHES IN SIGNING EXPERIENCED PREMIER LEAGUE PLAYERS SHOCKER

In a shocking moment that has rocked the world, Mark Hughes OBE has gone against grain and decided to use significant amounts of money from the pockets of a foreign tycoon to purchase players he has presumably only ever seen on Sky Sports. Eschewing the modern manager’s delusional willingness to scout players from places that aren’t directly available on a convenient box on a weekly basis, pointed out as being of a decent standard by a series of ex-professionals, most of whom have failed as managers, Hughes has instead chosen to rely on the understanding that if he’s repeatedly heard of a player, he’s probably good.

Hughes, famous for his ruthless scouting endeavours in last year’s capture of 2004’s Djibril Cisse, has reportedly reacted badly to the idea of his team losing 5-0 against Swansea, a team who had the gall to sign an attacking midfielder who has never even played in God’s own Premier League. The manager is delighted to finally be able to implement his defensive blueprint on a team that featured a mere four Mark Hughes signings out of a possible five in the backline.

And so it has come to this. Hughes has agreed a double deal for Michael Dawson and Ricardo Carvalho with their respective clubs, guaranteeing that the Queen’s Park Rangers would have probably been quite a decent side if they played in 2007, back when Carvalho wasn’t 34 and Michael Dawson was a prospect and not a possibly injured cast off from Chief Executive Technocrat Andres Villas-Boas’s revolutionary revolution at the Tottenham Hotspurs.

OTHER NEWS

In another move that goes completely against the grain, Sunderland, purchasers of Titus Bramble, Wes Brown and John O’Shea, part of Steve Bruce’s attempts to assemble the world’s slowest defence, have decided to splurge a large load of fun-bucks at the feet of the nomadic Wolverhampton Wanderers in exchange for Steven Fletcher. Relegation’s Fletcher is set to be a key asset in Sunderland’s now presumed battle against relegation.

Neil Lennon has stated that Celtic’s European Tie is not over, despite the first leg victory over Helsingsborg. Showing the sort of ability to point out the obvious that will serve well in a one-team league, Lennon is planning to follow up his clarification that two-legged ties involve more than one match with a thesis that humans need to eat food, the sky is blue and that Andy Reid is slightly portly.

Danny Welbeck has agreed a new four-year deal at Old Trafford, during which time he will probably be loaned out to whichever former Ferguson charge gets a Premier League managerial post next. Welbeck, who said that “playing for [Endorsement] United is all I’ve ever wanted to do” has apparently been guaranteed at least four starts in the League Cup each season from 2014 onwards, after his club recruit another twenty-seven strikers ahead of him.

Chief Executive Technocrat Andres Villas Boas has proven the difference between him and football’s favourite son Harry “we all love him, honest” Redknapp by signing Emmanuel Adebayor, who returns to Spurs an entire three months after last playing for them.

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Demba Cisse shaking hands with Alan Pardew

Pragmatic Newcastle United show that January need not be a time to fear for clubs outside the ‘big 6’

31st January 2011. After a relatively successful 30 days of the January transfer window, which had seen no departures and the signing on a permanent basis of the mercurial Hatem Ben Arfa, as well as the loan signing of the unpredictable, though undeniably talented Steven Ireland, all seems well. Fast-forward 24 hours to the morning of 1st February, and a feeling of shock, anger and above all fear pervades the atmosphere at St. James’ Park. Terrace favourite Andy Carroll, wearer of the iconic number 9, focal point of the attack and top goal scorer had been sold to Liverpool – no one had come in to replace him. Newcastle, it seemed, had fallen victim to a peril of the January window that will be all too familiar to supporters of teams outside the ‘big 6’ – bigger clubs sniffing around and snatching up your team’s best players, leaving the squad significantly weaker and demoralised.

As it transpired, a strike force consisting of Best, Lovenkrands, Ameobi and the far from marquee signing Shefki Kuqi was enough to keep the team in the division comfortably – though this is thanks mainly to the goals of Kevin Nolan, and the close-knit team spirit fostered under his captaincy. However, in the immediate aftermath of the Carroll sale this did not seem a likely occurrence. It may seem bizarre in hindsight, with Newcastle flying high in 6th place in the Premier League at the time of writing, but there was at the time a genuine feeling amongst many supporters that relegation was a genuine possibility, and that £35 million for Andy Carroll did not represent a good deal if there were not enough goals scored to keep the team in the league. As more than one observer pointed out, “you can’t play a £35 million cheque up front”.

It turned out, however, that Liverpool struggled to play a £35 million player up front, as

Andy Carroll looking miserable
The former Geordie number 9 has found life difficult at Liverpool so far

Carroll found it hard to regain fitness and form in the second half of the season, making only 7 appearances in the league for his new club, scoring only 2 goals. He has continued this poor form into the current season, making 20 appearances but scoring just 2 goals in the league, and the fee paid on the much hyped ‘DEADLINE DAY’ looks ever more ridiculous with each passing game. Contrast this with Newcastle, who, far from being weakened by his departure, have in fact strengthened their squad, investing the money in the summer on shrewd buys such as Demba Ba (free), Yohan Cabaye (£5 million) and Davide Santon (£5.3 million). Ba in particular shows the folly of Liverpool’s spending, a free transfer who has scored 15 goals in 19 league games, including a memorable volley in the 3-0 thumping of champions Manchester United.

Going into this season’s January window, however, it seemed the same story – prolific Newcastle striker leaving for a bigger club – would be the outcome, with Spurs manager Harry Redknapp first revealing a mysterious ‘release clause’ in Ba’s contract, then doing his best ‘Brucie’ impersonation in a bizarre press conference in which he encouraged journalists to go higher or lower in guessing how much Ba could be bought for. It is Newcastle, though, who have played their cards right so far. Having decided against taking a £7 million gamble on the fitness of Modibo Maiga, Alan Pardew and Chief Scout Graham Carr secured the signing of long term striking target Papiss Demba Cisse for £10 million. Of course, there is no guarantee that he will prove to be an instant success, but given the way in which Carr’s other signings have taken to the Premier League, there is no reason why the prolific Senegalese can’t maintain the form he has shown in a struggling Freiburg side so far this season, scoring 9 goals in 17 games for a team languishing in 17th place in the Bundesliga.

Demba Cisse shaking hands with Alan Pardew
The signing of Cisse shows that for teams outside of the 'big 6', January need not just be about outgoing transfers

His 22 goals in 32 games last season suggest this is a player who can make all the difference in a side ambitious to continually improve and push on in the second half of the season. “We don’t just want to be happy with where we are – we want to keep improving”, said Danny Simpson in an interview with the Journal, and signings such as Cisse give Newcastle the ability to do just that. If Demba Ba can maintain his pre-African Cup of Nations form and gel with his fellow compatriot then there seems no reason why the club can’t grab a Europa League place come the end of the season. In addition to the signing of the number 9, much needed defensive cover is seemingly on the way as well, with Pardew adopting the sensible tactic of dipping into the championship for an affordable squad player – gone may be the days of seeing 5 ft 10 James Perch toiling at centre half against 6 ft 4 strikers, as was the case against Norwich earlier this season.

With 4 days still to go until the end of the window, there is, of course, still time for one of the bigger clubs in the league to swoop for one of Newcastle’s best players, but what the club has demonstrated is that when approached pragmatically, this month which is usually approached with dread by teams outside the top 6, can in fact be a time of excitement for fans, and an opportunity to genuinely strengthen the squad.